When We Procrastinate Dealing With Misbehavior

Hey Parenting People!

 When your child misbehaves, which of these scenarios describes your response?

• Immediately stop what you’re doing, calmly deliver a consequence, and move on with your day.
• Ignore it for a while, then tell your child to cut it out a few times, raise your voice and repeat yourself more angrily, finally get up and do something about it!

Yeah, I thought so ;)

 Most of us don’t usually do a lot about our kids’ behavior until it causes us a headache, right? And you don’t need me to tell you how that’s shooting you in the foot, right? 

 Waiting until you’re driven batty to deal with misbehavior is a big mistake.  But, it’s a hard habit to break.*  Here’s what I tell my clients to help make the change: 

The behavior dictates the response, not our feelings about the behavior.

Don’t wait to be pissed before you deal with something!  If throwing balls in the house is against the rules, we need to take action the first time the ball comes sailing overhead, not wait until we’re really upset about it. 

Why? Two reasons:

We’re not upset yet. Our reserves haven’t been exhausted so we can stay calm while we give a consequence.

It takes away confusion.  Think about this from your kid’s perspective. It would make perfect sense for them to think, “Sometimes I throw a ball, and mom just says stop it. Other times she screams at me. Other times she takes it away.  How do I know what to do or expect?”  Your kid will learn so much faster if the connection between misbehavior and bummer outcome is totally clear.

If your kid doesn’t listen or needs constant reminders, you might see big change with this one little tweak.  And if you know you need more than a little tweak to deal with your kiddo’s misbehavior, let’s talk! Set up a free Discovery Call and we’ll figure it all out together.

Love, Ann

*Anyone else thinking of that Chicago song right now? ;)