Triangle Mom Triangle Mom
Apr 01, 2025
Triangle Mom Triangle Mom - Anyone else remember They Might Be Giants? Just me?
(ehem **bashful dork cough** ehem) ANYWHO…
Triangle Mom
Recently, in my coaching group, a mom shared about her youngest, who throws tantrums before school, ripping her teen siblings from sleep and leading to WWIII every morning. The kids say hateful things to each other and mom, destroy their bedrooms, etc. Mom does a great job staying calm and letting the kids have their blowups without feeding into it, and she talks to the kids about their behavior afterward, but things aren’t improving. And it’s because there’s a missing ingredient in her parenting response.
Everyone Gets Dysregulated Sometimes
Everyone gets dysregulated sometimes (we all throw our own version of tantrums) and that’s not a problem. Ignoring and giving space to kids when they’re dysregulated is usually the only response that’s necessary. But sometimes kids misbehave while they’re upset (like destroying property, calling their parent a hateful name, etc.), and those things DO require additional discipline.
I have a 3-fold approach to the misbehavior that happens during kids’ dysregulation (a triangle of parenting, if you will 😜):
- Stay calm while the child re-regulates. Nothing else can happen until we’re all calm again.
- Reconnect afterward - an open talk with no agenda to correct their behavior with this.
- A response to the behavior - a consequence once everyone has calmed down.
This mom is nailing it with those first two things, but she confessed that she avoids the consequence later because she doesn’t want to bring it all back up again and possibly create another blowup. Perfectly understandable, but unfortunately, without the teaching response, the kids don’t have an experience that motivates them to try handling the situation differently next time. This mom’s triangle is missing a side!
Missing a Side
Don’t have an incomplete triangle! Work with me and become a Triangle Mom (or Dad)! We all struggle with one part of this triad - maybe you have a hard time staying calm while your child works through their tantrum. Maybe the blowup upsets you too much to have an open conversation about it later. Maybe you skip consequences to avoid more blowups. Whatever your challenge, you are so normal, and I can help!
Working with me means learning new skills and strengthening the weak sides of your triangle so that your kid’s behavior improves and parenting becomes a lot more pleasant. Ready to give it a try? Book your Discovery Call now and let’s get started.
P.S. Be a raging dork with me! Listen to TMBG sing “Particle Man” here.
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