Tearful Bedtimes
Aug 06, 2024
Does your kid turn bedtime into a therapy session?
Tearful Bedtimes - Many parents tell me how bedtime devolves into a rehashing of every hard moment in their kiddo’s day while their parent desperately tries to cheer them up so they can make a peaceful exit!
When kids use bedtime to download with parents, it can be beautiful. We don’t want to lose that, but when we feel trapped or helpless to make it better, the connection gets lost, and bedtime becomes a power struggle.
Here are two false beliefs that may be keeping you stuck in the bedtime download trap:
False belief #1: “I’m not done until they feel better.”
What if your child’s tough emotions were not a problem? Kids are allowed to feel bad without us trying to control them. Ask yourself: How do I show up so that I’m not fixing their struggle but simply being supportive while they go through it? You will be more powerful to your child as a resource, not a rescuer.
False belief #2: “I’m a jerk if I leave.”
Endless talking and comforting can actually hinder your child’s self-regulation. There’s a reason why therapy sessions don’t last five hours at a time! Some challenges can’t be solved in a single bedtime chat. Give yourselves 15 minutes to let things flow. Then say goodnight and leave with a hug, even if your kiddo is still emotional.
Does this sound hard?
I understand completely - walking away while a loved one struggles, knowing we can’t fix things for them, setting boundaries when they don't want us to - it’s all very tough.
If you’re doing this drama dance every night - I can help. Set up a free Discovery Call with me. We’ll talk about everything you’re facing and what to do about it, and you’ll finish your call armed with the next steps.
Learn more about group parent coaching here.
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