Students who don't do their work: Our #1 mistake

Sep 21, 2021

Hey Parenting People!

A few years ago, my oldest was failing 9th grade in a major way. He liked school well enough but did absolutely nothing outside the classroom. Unfortunately, that doesn’t work in high school. There is major homework and if you don’t do it, you fail.

This was the first time one of my kids wasn’t taking responsibility for schoolwork and I wasn’t ready for it at all.

I immediately committed every possible mistake. I started asking about homework constantly and checking online for missing assignments. I tried to help with his homework and talked about how important it was.

Then, when it was the 11th hour and he had 2 weeks to make up for a semester of slacking (and he was finally actually worried!) I really blew it.

It was Thanksgiving, we were visiting my sister, and he had to write a report on the Alchemist by Paulo Cuello. I sat next to him, asked questions, then TRANSCRIBED his responses for him! I didn’t realize that I was literally writing his report for him until my sister spoke up, “Are you kidding me right now?! You are actually doing it for him! I’ve never seen you like this!”

I stopped and realized, “OMG She’s right!!! How did I get here?!” All of a sudden, I understood what my clients were going through in a whole new way.

This is how it feels when kids won’t do the simple things needed to be successful in school. It is frustrating. It is scary. It is crazy-making. And I felt totally helpless. It all led me to make one of the classic parenting mistakes that block our kids from taking responsibility and growing:

I was trying to rescue my son.

If this story feels familiar, I want to encourage you to come to the Beyond Grades workshop in October. We’re going to talk about:

How to step back so your kid can step up!
Our biggest mistakes that get in our kids' way (Rescuing is a big one!)
What to do about misbehavior in school
Tips for handling bullies, frenemies and 'mean kids'
How to help kids through stress and low confidence
Getting your child to do homework without a fight
Keys to a smooth, on-time departure to school

Just like all my workshops, I’ll spend half our time teaching concepts and skills, and use the rest to answer questions and coach. It’s an interactive experience that will give you concrete tools to begin using immediately. I can’t wait to see you soon!

Love, Ann

P.S. He got an A on that paper...and it made no difference. He kept slacking and messing up until I completely changed my approach.