The Nine-Year Change
Nov 12, 2024
The Nine-Year Change - Do you have a kiddo around nine years old?
Last year, two of my children moved to the Waldorf school, and it has been life-changing in many ways. I immediately realized I had a big learning curve in understanding the Waldorf approach to child psychology and development. Perhaps because my youngest was nine when we made the change, my favorite new learning has been something Waldorf calls The Nine-Year Change.
Pre-adolescence
Most of us call this phase pre-adolescence, but I am starting to prefer the Waldorf lingo because this age is quite different from what happens when a kiddo is eleven or twelve. It’s almost like we can break pre-adolescence into two chapters. So, let’s look at this. If you have a nine- or ten-year-old, you may notice your child showing newfound confidence and competence, but also…
- Acting out in rudeness or defiance
- Getting mad, frustrated, irritable, self-righteous, or indignant
- Becoming fearful or anxious about things that didn’t used to worry them
- Feeling concerned about fitting in, how others see them, or social pressures
- Beating themselves up more than they used to
- Criticizing or questioning authority
For those of you with younger kids, aren’t you excited for what’s around the corner? 😃
A New Stage
Ack! Why does this happen to our beautiful little babies?! This age is when kids move from the relatively ego-less early childhood phase into a more conscious state. They leave behind the oneness they used to feel with everything and shift into an awareness that their inner world is separate, that they themselves are separate from the outside world. No wonder they can be such a mess! They are literally experiencing an identity crisis, questioning themselves, their purpose, the rules, and the adults in their lives…even their mortality becomes conscious to them!
So what can we do?
The fun thing is that the answer (authoritative parenting) never changes. Our kids need our emotional attunement and our leadership, the two hallmarks of authoritative parenting. We can show empathy and unconditional love for our beautiful children while also holding the boundaries of this world that they are experiencing from a whole new perspective.
My answer may be simple, but it is not easy. These changes are often when people feel ready to get some outside help. If life is getting trickier and you’d like help navigating it all, I am here to help. Set up a Discovery Call with me, share your struggles, and let me give you some insight. These moments in parenthood are challenging, and you don’t have to figure them out alone.
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