Are You a Mr. Fix-it Parent?
Jul 18, 2023
When it comes to parenting, are you Mr. Fixit?
Last week we had family in town, and my daughter shared her room with her grandmother. A few days into the visit, my kiddo came to me upset because her new roomie had found a book in her room, deemed it inappropriate, and shared her opinions with me and several other family members.
Immediately my mind went into Mr. Fixit mode:
- Now I have to confront Grandma.
- I should make the two of them talk it out
- I’ll need to find a new place for Grandma to sleep.
- Maybe I should offer my daughter to stay with me for the rest of the trip.
- Could I set the record straight with the rest of the family?
Support Before Solving
Luckily, I was also plugged into the parenting work I do with my clients. I remembered to support before solving, so I kept my Mr. Fixit stuff to myself while I hugged her and validated her emotions. That time gave me a second to remember another lesson and let the kid lead. I resolved that once she was ready, I would ask her what she wanted to do and back her up in whatever she decided. It was relieving to remember that I didn’t have to know the answer for my kid.
She had a good cry, and I was poised to offer all my solutions, but before I could get going, she smiled, changed the subject, and went on with her day.
All that Mr. Fixit crap was just a spiral in my head! She just needed to deal with her feels (another lesson I teach all the time, but I guess I needed her to remind me this time).
Misplaced Distraction
It was a great demonstration that our Mr. Fixit stuff is usually a misplaced distraction from what’s real and true. I see it time and again - when we create a safe space for kids to process their emotions, solutions, and logistics often become unnecessary. Prove it to yourself! Next time your child is upset and struggling, put your Mr. Fixit on hold and drop into good listening, validation, and reflection with them. See what happens!
How glorious would it be for the spinny stuff in parenting to fall away, leaving your beautiful relationship with your child front and center, stripped of all extraneous BS?
So pure and genuine! This is the magic of relationship-based, attuned parenting, and it’s what I facilitate for my clients all the time. It’s my job to teach you how to create that safe space, how to let your Mr. Fixit urges take a back seat, and exactly what to do instead.
Let's Make it Happen!
If you’re ready to live this way with your child, I can help you make it happen. It starts with a free Discovery Call where I will learn about your family, your struggles, and your parenting vision. I’ll give you my honest feedback and help you decide whether I am the coach you want in your corner while you make your vision a reality. I am currently enrolling in my moms' coaching group and have a few slots for private work with dads, co-parents, or couples. Set up your call today, and let’s get your family on track!
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