"I Will Try to Fix You" and Other Dumb Parent Ideas

parenting help parenting plan workshop Feb 01, 2022

"I will try to fix you." - Coldplay

OK, I admit I really this Coldplay song, even though it totally glorifies codependency...

Codependency is essentially a belief that our happiness and safety come from the way our loved ones feel:

I need you to be ok because I can’t be ok when you’re not ok.

We love codependency so much because the whole world taught us to, including most of our parents. Conventional parenting IS codependency. It teaches:

Our kids’ behavior is our job - we must control them.
Our kids’ struggles are our fault.
Being a flawed human hurts our children.
We have the ability and duty to take away kids’ hardships, make them happy, and fix their problems.
We would feel better if our kids would just BE better.
Everyone is judging you, and their judgments are right.
Our happiness is held hostage by the people we love.
We need others’ approval to know we’re doing well.
Our goal should be to make everyone happy and avoid unpleasantness.
Making mistakes is disgusting and hurts everyone.

How about no?

If you’re not registered for my March 5th or 6th FREE Parenting Revolution workshop, it’s time to make it happen.

We are going to be learning how to say NO to this codependent messaging and choose a different path. I will teach you:

How to see your child’s journey through healthy eyes
How to create an INTERdependent relationship with them, and
Effective, HEALTHY responses to their behavior

We get to create a whole new way to parent, and therefore a whole new world…a world where fixing someone else is just plain silly, and this song's lyrics says, "I will walk alongside you while you fix yourself." Not quite as pithy, I guess. Oh well.