When should we give a consequence?
Oct 29, 2024
When should we give a consequence?
How often do you deal with your child's behavior immediately?
Most of us don’t. We ignore it for a while, tell our kids to cut it out a few times, repeat ourselves, get increasingly frustrated, and THEN finally get up and do something. Right?
Waiting until we’re driven batty to deal with misbehavior is a big mistake. But it’s a hard habit to break. Here’s what I tell my clients to help make the change:
The behavior dictates the response, not our feelings about the behavior.
Don’t wait to be pissed before you deal with something! If throwing balls in the house is against the rules, take action the first time the ball comes sailing overhead! Why? Two reasons:
- You’re not upset yet. Your reserves haven’t been exhausted, so you can stay calm while you give a consequence.
- It takes away confusion. Think about this from your kid’s perspective. It would make perfect sense for them to think, “Sometimes I throw a ball, and mom just says stop it. Other times, she screams at me. Other times, she takes it away. How do I know what to do or expect?” Your kid will learn so much faster if the connection between misbehavior and the bummer outcome is totally clear.
If your kid doesn’t listen or needs constant reminders, you might see a significant change with this one little tweak. And if you know you need more than a little tweak to deal with your kiddo’s misbehavior, let’s talk! Set up a free Discovery Call, and we’ll figure it out together.
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