Don't Get Mad (and Other Useless Advice)
Apr 23, 2024
Don't Get Mad - “My son has been forgetting things at school recently, and this week, he lost his Snoopy beanie and jacket. He's a huge Snoopy fan too! In the past, I’d get mad and gripe at him, but this time, I haven’t. He’s super sad, and I'm sad for him, but I’m fine.”
Sad Not Mad
I almost jumped out of my chair when I heard this from a client last week. Magic is happening in this family; all it took was for this mom to feel sad instead of mad.
If she had gotten mad, that anger and his feelings about her anger would have overshadowed his sadness about losing his Snoopy stuff. And the cycle of school forgetfulness and fights at home would have continued indefinitely. But really, this kiddo’s sadness about losing his Snoopy gear is all he needs in order to learn.
Our intensity interferes with our kid's ability to connect the dots and think, “I didn’t keep track of my stuff, and now this thing happened that I’m super bummed about.” Anger will only muddy the waters, whereas calmness and empathy are like getting out of the way of the lesson.
What if finding calm empathy is all you need to parent well?
What if, by doing that, you’re already creating opportunities for both you and your child to learn and grow?
This might seem simple, but it’s hard to do on our own. You know that staying calm is important for good parenting, but you might not know HOW to stay calm or what causes you NOT to stay calm. For many parents, this is why coaching makes the difference even when books and classes haven’t worked. It teaches you the important stuff, sticks with you while you put it into practice, helps you discover what’s going on behind the scenes, and grows around it.
Let's Do This Thing
If you know you need to stay calm but can’t figure out how, it’s time for us to meet. Set up your free Discovery Call, and I’ll help you see what’s possible, create a plan, and decide where you want to go next.
Learn more about group parent coaching here.
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