Doing Nothing is Doing Something
Feb 20, 2024
Are you a take-action type of person?
Doing Nothing is Doing Something - Last week, I talked to a mom about her nine-year-old who loses it when he's overwhelmed: screaming, saying things that are not OK, and totally losing control. Her attempts to cheer him up/calm him down only make things worse, so we have created a plan to do...NOTHING.
She is calm in his presence while he spirals. When he's ready to listen, she validates his emotions with her words and shares her calmness with her touch, and that's it: no problem-solving, no arguing, no suggestions or advice.
And when she does it...magic. He moves through his feelings like a rockstar. He makes amends for his mistakes. His outbursts are less frequent. Beautiful!
But when we started, it was a real challenge for her to sit in stillness like that:
"I'm such a problem-solver. I have to DO something!"
Taking a pause, walking away, sitting on our hands, or biting our tongues - it's uncomfortable. But if we don't learn to do that uncomfortable stuff, we launch into a bunch of action just so we don't have to feel squirrelly. That only makes things worse! For take-charge parents (like me), it's important to remember:
Doing nothing IS doing something.
Doing 'nothing' is what leads to:
- Responsive instead of reactive parenting,
- Emotionally regulated parents and kids,
- Thoughtful action when needed and
- The ability to recognize when no action is needed at all.
Ready to learn parenting that actually WORKS instead of the busy work and frantic reactions that only FEEL like you're dealing with things? Set up a free call with me today! I'll learn about your family and goals, show you how to get there, and help you get started.
Learn more about group parent coaching here.
Find me on social media:
Facebook, Instagram, or YouTube
Listen to my podcast - Confessions of a Parent Coach (or wherever you listen!)