Being a Good Sibling

Being a Good Sibling - When I talk with my clients about their kids’ sibling dynamics, the most common things I hear are heartache at watching kids be cruel and hateful, and worry that they will destroy their relationship and squander the opportunity for a special lifelong connection that a sibling offers.

Learning Through Experiences

Believe it or not, the heinous ways our kids treat each other have a real purpose. If childhood is all about learning through experiences, siblings offer our kids the best classroom possible to learn how to be a person in a relationship with another person. They get to try on all different ways of being (hero, liar, villain, bully, doormat, sneak) and reap what they sow, to a degree that they never could with any other person - a friend, a classmate, a teacher…our kids can’t experiment the same way with them as they can with their siblings. So, in a crazy way, our kids are SUPPOSED to be cruel to each other, wail on each other, tattle on each other, and torment each other!

What looks to us like our kids squandering this ride-or-die companionship we’ve given them is actually them taking full advantage of their childhood. Our interventions, admonitions, and rescuing, mostly get in the way of the relationship and lessons that are unfolding.

How Can We Help Our Kiddos

There are things we can do to help our kids genuinely take advantage of the magic of having a sibling. This is what I help you do through coaching. I will teach you to identify when to step in and when to step back, and how to deal with the discomfort of just letting things messily unfold. When you need to intervene, I’ll teach you how to stay in a supportive role instead of a solving role. Instead of asking, “Who started it?” you’ll soon find yourself saying things like, “I’m so sorry your brother upset you like that. How do you want to take care of yourself, and how can I help?”

When we show up this way with our kids, they can learn beautiful relationship skills like taking space, expressing themselves, setting boundaries, self-advocacy, how to love someone and still say no…how incredible!

Are You Ready?

If you're ready to help your kids maximize all the potential in their beautiful childhood, set up a free Discovery Call! I will learn about your family, help you see the roadmap to the family dynamics of your dreams, and decide if I am the person to help you get there. Click on the link to book it now!

Learn more about group parent coaching here. 

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