Eyes On Your Own Work
Feb 04, 2025
Eyes On Your Own Work - Remember Study Carrels?
Back in August, I had a call with a mom feeling frustrated with many different aspects of her life. Her kids were home on break, so everything was just off. When I asked what she wanted things to be like, she said she just wanted to feel grounded and empathetic so she could get things back on track.
Eyes on Your Own Work
Our conversation meandered around many different feelings we all have as parents: feelings toward our partners and not feeling supported, feelings toward kids when they’re not listening or following rules, and even frustration toward the school for being out of session and taking away our structure and routine! If you're anything like me, all of this sounds very familiar.
But after our meandering, we started to circle around the work she needed to do for herself. We could have discussed rules or consequences, communication skills with her husband, or setting up new structures. Ultimately, this mom realized she needed more than anything else: her own personal growth to access the grounding, empathetic energy she wanted to bring to her parenting.
Remember study carrels?
Sessions like this remind me of elementary school. Remember study carrels? Maybe I'm the only one old enough to remember when my teacher would bring out homemade trifold poster board dividers for our desks whenever we had a test. And right before the test would start, the teacher would say the same thing:
“Eyes on your own work.”
It is natural to stray from our work, peek into everyone else's unfinished business, or focus on things outside of us that we wish were different. But at the end of the day, the place where we have power is within ourselves, and paradoxically, the more we focus on our own work, the more those outside things can change in incredible ways.
External Changes
Ultimately, this mom ended our session deciding to begin consistent mindfulness work, find a good therapist, and give herself regular breaks from her kids. Because she is in my group program, which doesn’t have an end date, I get to work with her continuously and have seen the results of this session unfold. I am thrilled to report that choosing to keep her eyes on her own work has led to precisely the external changes she was hoping for.
It is so hard to remember to keep our eyes on our own work. That's why my elementary school teacher put those carrels on our desks, and that's why people hire coaches as adults. We all need outside help to keep us focused on what really matters and what really works. If you're ready for that kind of support, set up your free Discovery Call with me. I will help you identify your own work and what will help you get it done.
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