5 Reasons Parents of Teens Want to Give Up
Jun 26, 2024
5 Reasons Parents of Teens Want to Give Up—Whenever I work with a parent whose kid is older than about 11, I anticipate a “Don’t Give Up” talk about six weeks in.
We want quick results, but transforming these kids’ behavior and our relationships with them is a marathon, not a sprint. Here’s why:
- Old dogs and new tricks. These kids have over a decade of habit-building and misconceptions under their belts—and so do we!
- Success starts small. Early wins can be hard to see. Five minutes of respectful dialogue, 10 minutes off their phone, a few less missing assignments—these seeds of change can go unnoticed (and unwatered).
- It feels urgent. Misbehaviors at this stage can be alarming. We’re not talking about a little tantrum or throwing sand on the playground here! Big problems make us want immediate change. We tend to panic, pivot, and throw away hard-won gains when it takes time.
- Our focus is blurred. When kids’ behavior triggers us, we go into fix-it mode, focusing on our kid and not ourselves. It’s hard to believe that looking at our own well-being and self-improvement is the key to change, but it is.
- One size does NOT fit all. With little kids, blanket approaches often work, but this isn’t a toddler! These kids are complex proto-adults, and we usually need adjustments and collaboration before we find what works.
How do We Stay the Course
Looking at this list, how do we stay the course on our own? Honestly, we don’t. My clients get results because the “Don’t Give Up” talk means they’re not alone, and whatever happens, we WILL figure it out. We run the whole darn marathon together and make it to the finish line.
If you are working on improving things with your big kid and feel tempted to throw in the towel, it’s time to get support. Book a free Discovery Call with me, and let’s look at this marathon together. You’ll share your challenges with me, and I’ll give you a clear roadmap to getting across that finish line happy and healthy with your child.
Learn more about group parent coaching here.
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